If Its All Rusted And Faded In The Spot Where We Fell

Ive been on a Journey lately for myself. I dont know where I am... Where the HELL is my heart... I love people. I love spending time with friends. I love life. Where the hell did I go.

I drove today for a good bit, it was cloudy and cold, I love that weather. I want so badly to be ok again, I know that getting right with God was the key, so I went to the place where I last saw him, at the river where I was baptized.

I got out of my car and stared at the path and thought "where have I been". I made my way down to the water, I actually prayed from the heart. Tears almost filled my eyes as I prayed with authority over my defeated and weakened heart. It felt good, I did not leave alone.

I hope to keep this, especially now... I can be in tears if I think about it. The most beautiful thing I have read, containing everything I had begged and cried about, wasnt even for me... It hurts. Oh well.

I will report that I am blessed by the lives of Brittany Jo and Kayla. Back when my roomie killed himself, and all the drama that ensued, I could just watch them two and receive joy. Tonight is no different, just watching the two of them brings a joy to my heart, and an all but foreign smile to my face, it felt good. Those are two beautiful children of God, I love you two.

Wish me luck on my week, I have more work due than I can handle.